Why am I not married?

Motunrayo Alaka, an advocate for investigative journalism, once posted an article that points to many now asking Google for everything. I won’t be surprised if you got to this link by googling, “Why am I not married?”

This is a question that many singles shy away from in public but one they ask privately and tearfully. A question I had to answer in my quest for marriage.

A young man in his late 20s told me how his income was hardly enough to sustain him and how try as he may, he cannot seem to settle into marriage. Further counsel revealed that he was living far above his income. He was also spending a lot to gratify his girlfriend and sexual partners instead of planning for a home and signing into marriage with the one he loves. The reason he isn't "settled" is not far fetched.

A woman in her early 30s told me how her company was going through a hard time and how her dad threw the family into turmoil by jetting off with other women. Further counsel revealed that she was afraid of stepping out in faith to explore other job options and her dad's behaviour left her with the fear of men which became the genesis of disappointments. The reason she isn't married is not far fetched.

After struggling with the thoughts of being single for life, a woman answered her call to a life of missions and found joy in touching the lives of children God sent her way.

I stayed single for a long time because what I wanted was not reachable and what was reachable was not desired. Where was the will of God in why I remained single? It was not God's will that I remained single but as I stretched for my will, God's will became more and more alien to me. Peace was restored to my marital journey when I trusted God. Remaining single may be God-ordained for some but for many, it is self inflicted. 

"Why am I not married?" is a question which when sincerely answered can uncover the veil that may be preventing you from embarking on the marital journey truthfully and continuing beyond the altar.

Many of those who are married had to compromise one thing or the other – height, weight, profession, complexion, pay packet, tribe, qualification, class, age etc.

1st Peter 1 gives a good picture of God's expectation. Verse 5 says "Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." Holding up your faith is a requirement for connecting to an earthly mate. Verse 13 and 24 points out: "Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ… For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away." Verse 25 nails it "But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you."

When answers do not come to this age old question we begin a cycle of frustration that has seen many getting married to evil mates. At the end of the day, neither marriage nor singleness would endure. Only the word of God.

Dear brethren and friends, why are you not married? If you married in your late 20s or 30s, 40s, 50s... What delayed your marital bliss? Sharing may be all you need to set yourself free and open the freeway for others as well.

Mrs. Omolola is minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others.