James 1:9
Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
1. The Bible enjoins us to pray for those who hurt us. Do we really pray for or curse? Prayers or positive confessions would soften your heart - pray for their souls to be saved from hades, for hate to be banished from their heart, for God’s intervention. Remember that a hardened heart would welcome anger and all diseases associated with it.
2. When criticised sort out constructive from destructive. Sort out lies from truth. Remap the words you heard or read to be sure you are not reading undue meaning. It is helpful to ask questions and reword what you think someone is saying to help clarify, because the majority of conflicts are a result of miscommunication. Many are mean but some appear mean only because they are hurt by what is going on with you and like you, desire a change but have no clue how to make it happen. So what they say to you translate to meanness and insensitivity when all they are saying is, you can do better.
3. Communicate with the person whose words hurt you... If the person is not an enemy, share what you heard, what it meant to you, what you felt and how you believe the person could have better related to you or constructively share their thoughts. In trying to help a friend declutter her home many years ago, she got angry and said hurtful things. When we got into a conversation, she made me understand why the baby cot which I suggested she gave away (she has kept for about 12 years), meant so much more than a baby cot. She was living abroad and her son had to stay back in her home country. The baby cot for her was her only connection.
4. Affirm who you are. Hurtful words do not magically change who we are. In affirming what you know to be true about you, you boost your self confidence and refuse for hurtful words to have a damaging effect on you. Also remember that it is human to fall short of God’s glory. Jesus died for sins of all mankind though only believers sign up for forgiveness via salvation. The more you understand and affirm your true identity in Jesus Christ, you would not be stirred into anger by the words of others.
5. Pray for those who hurt you to be graced with salvation (Colossians 1:21-22). God made it clear that sinners have been given over to a reprobate mind, i.e. mind that is unprincipled, rascally and damned! Romans 1:28 is clear that deprived minds does things they ought not to do.
Let the words in Romans 12:14-21 be your charge and cheer that, God stands for those who keep His Words.
AMEN
Dr. Omolola Omoteso is a minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others.
