Happy relationships don’t just happen through luck, they are made. To have a happy relationship, all you need is a clear intention to create an amazing connection and intimacy with your partner. These simple tools will help:
Individualise your happiness
I remember saying to my husband after he asked me to be his life mate and live in the USA with him, “I never liked the idea of living here but, will you make me happy.” His response shocked me, “I’ll make you comfortable but happiness is up to you!” If we can be happy as individuals then we can bring our measure of happiness and add it to our mate's measure of happiness to form a wholesome welrounded hapiness. When you are content and know how to take care of your own emotional, physical, and mental health, then you are in the right frame of mind to share happiness in a relationship.
Except your partner is a mind reader, you would have to sincerely express what you want and how you feel. If you focus more on communicating your feelings, without blaming, criticizing or putting down your mate you can be rest assured that your love and happiness will grow. "I would love us to pray together whever you visit" sounds much better and would receive a better response than, "How can you just come and go without ever offering to pray with me; aint you supposed to be a deacon?"
Even among Christians, more and more mates now hammer more on what is not being fulfilled or complemented in the relationship instead of truly appreciating the other person. What you feed will grow. If what you feed to your mate is, “You are no good”, “If only you can be this and that”, then that is what will grow. But if you see all the beautiful things about the person and about the love you are sharing and you communicate your appreciation, more beautiful things will grow. If all you see is what is wrong with your mate, then more wrong stuff will grow and hate will creep in to dislocate the love you had. If you put your attention on what your mate does well, you’ll grow wellness.
Be yourself. You need to be you and let the other person feel comfortable in his or her skin! You cannot mortage your happiness or his on the altar of sacrifice. This will only lead you to be resentful and exhausted. The only one who can truly give you happiness is God through you. Bruce Lee was quoted as saying, "Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successfull personality and duplicate it." I'll had be the happy and successful person! Maya Angelou put it succintly, "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."
Be Honest. Honesty is a great key to happiness. If you are honest enough to discover what your challenge or problem is then you can truly be honest enough to seek help. It helps to honestly share your fears and concerns with your partner, only then can you receive empathy and support to work through it. There is humility in beign honest and this is a stitch in time that definitely saves nine. Hugh Prather, a minister and the author of Notes to Myself which was first published in 1970 said, "Almost any difficulty will move in the face of honesty. When I am honest I never feel stupid. And when I am honest I am automatically humble".
Our vision remains to increase the percentage of happily married people and we will continue to grow this vision by sharign skill sets and tools that can help you connect to purpose and your partner in a divine way. Note that all the above will work more if yuo continually commit you and yours into God's hands. Though this tools have been shared in the context of love relationships, it would work for any relationship - with parents, colleagues, students etc.
Be sure to look us up online and spread the word about Divine Connection's online interactive session for mature singles coming up on August 11, 2012 at 9AM Nigeria Time or visit DC Open House link.
Above is excerpt from DC Open House of 14.07.12