Focus for Marital Breakthrough

Last year Divine Connection recorded marriages. This year, I am gearing up for multiple marriages. Mind you I did not say weddings because except you pull through the wedding, there is actually no marriage. The wedding ceremonies are the wants but marriage is the need. You will be married in Jesus name.

Sometime ago a friend said to me, you went to America for one Master Degree but because you were focused you came back with two. I shook my head in strong affirmation. Then she added, so why don’t you focus so you can get one husband! Of course I wasn’t shaking my head by the time she concluded.

So let’s talk about focus. How do you focus your prayer and your attention for marital breakthrough?

First you must be able to answer the question of readiness clearly. Are you ready for marriage? If you are ready and your man is not ready; there is a clause. For years I was not ready and for many more years he was not! I remember that when the Woman of God who introduced us asked him about marriage he said, “Mi o raye iyen nisiyi” (I don’t have time for that now). So even when I became ready, God’s choice for me wasn’t. So what should you do. Pray him or her into readiness! Focus and pray that by fire by force prayer, “O Lord! Make him/her ready; break him into readiness. As you brought Adam to the point of needing a help mate, spiritually anaestesised him and broke his ribs to humble him into accepting Eve; bring him to a point of readiness in Jesus name”.

Secondly, you need to answer the question of who. If you are focused on short men, your personality and aura will repel every tall ma. If his aura is not strong enough; he will leave. You must be clear about who you are and who you need. A yes man may be sweet to have but if you know you are a go-getter, a yes man will not get you there! If you are still confused about who you are, it may be hard to decipher who you need. You need to pray, “O Lord reveal me to me; reveal who I am and where you are taking me to”. If you know who you are then your prayer should be, “O Lord, by the direction of the Holy Spirit, reveal who I need”. After you have prayed, you must listen and begin to pay attention to events around you.

While you can candidly tell God who you need; I mean the kind of man you desire for destiny fulfilment, you must subject all these desires under His will which means in actual fact that the third point is clarity about readiness to accept God’s will. If who you want is a fat man, are you ready to accept God’s choice of a thin man? If who you want is a professional woman, are you ready to accept God’s choice of a businesswoman? If not, you need to pray, “O Lord, help me to accept your will.”

After you accept God’s will, you must be positioned to meet his will. Even if Rebecca knew in her mind that she was open to God’s choice, only been at the well positioned her to meet the man who connected her to her man. Are you well positioned? You can pray, “Dear Lord, position me for your divine connection to my man/woman”. When you pray this prayer, if God is telling you to relocate or travel or visit someone; please do. I have a sister who met her husband when she listened to the leading of the Holy Spirit to visit a sister in her church. During that visit she met the sister’s husband and they engaged in a discussion. The sister’s husband casually suggested she would be a good match for another brother in their church. Of course the sister she went to visit waived it off for flimsy reasons but today my sister is happily married to that brother.

There has been instances where all above comes together neatly yet the man refuse to speak or the woman refuse to answer. Ojuboro ko ni afii gba omo l’owo ekuro (it is not an easy task to collect seed from the palm kernel). You need to pray, “God, give me/him/her voice and verse (words)”. I had many suitors but some couldn’t get the words out; some were only able to verbalise their desires after someone else wooed them! I said wooed them because it felt like they were in a trance from which they only woke up after being married to someone else. If I was willing to take them, they were willing to marry me after they woke up! Until God spoke the words, “Let there be...”, everything that was meant to be hung in nothingness. At times the man or woman is around you but fear, family, familiarity, frivolities etc forestall him/her from speaking/answering. A guy talked about how an old woman would always appear in his dream each time he decided to ask a lady to marry him and once he sees the old woman, he will walk away without telling the lady why he lost interest. Brethren, spiritual things must be dealt with spiritually. You may need to go for a deliverance, you may need to withdraw to a mountain, you may need to fast and pray; who you marry determines a lot; so be focused.

Finally you must pray, “God! Let time and season work to create my marriage”. At times the man wants to settle into marriage but he loses his job and doesn’t have enough faith to carry on with the plan. It happened to me. When we met, he had a job but he lost it and insisted that we couldn’t go to the next level until he found another. It took God to convince him that this was the lie of the devil; with or without a job God can build a home. I had to serve my faith for two and challenged him to dine; “Fix a date and see if God will not go beyond giving you a job”. He did and God went the extra mile for us. There was a man who lost his mother few weeks to his wedding; the season was not going to favour him as the grief was driving him to cancel his wedding. But my mother stepped in and prayerfully guided him to go ahead with the registry part of the wedding. The other parts of the wedding that were cancelled were never done but they have remained married and happy because God turned things round because they listened to the voice of wisdom. The one who is dead has finished her race; the living has the task of continuing the race. It may sound harsh but it is real. I have a sister in the Lord whose marriage was nose diving. As part of the spiritual and medical treatment, herself and husband were to pray and have sex at particular times, the last day of their pray and sex fell on the night when they arrived at the village for her father’s burial. Of course her husband said, “But we can’t possibly have sex when you are mourning”, the sister said, “Even if we have to do it in the bush, we have to do it”. I don’t know where they did it, but they did it and that night the seed of their first child was sown. Today that woman who was called barren and almost buried her marriage in the grief of her father’s death has children to share the loving memory of her father.

All through your focus for marital breakthrough, you have to be in sync with the Holy Spirit; you must be sensitive. Wear what your Spirit says to wear, go where your Spirit leads and do what your Spirit directs even if it appears stupid. But be sure what you are interacting with is the Holy Spirit. I recollect that after I met Temi, though I caught him glancing a couple of times, I kind of felt he treated me more like his sister especially with the years between us. But if we were to be married, I didn't want to be treated as a sister, I wanted to be his wife. I prayed and the Holy Spirit said dress like a woman; a wife. Well maybe I interpreted it humanly but I decided to go the extra mile in my dressing and make up the next morning. Brethren, the look he gave me when I walked into him was dramatically different; it wasn't the kind of look you'd give a sister, it was a look for a sweetheart! He verbalised it by making an endearing comment and he sealed it by pulling me into a hug. I got what I wanted! But I had to start praying for the handshake not to pass the elbow... Except your mate wants his/her gender, be an attractive opposite!

You must learn to pray in a focused manner about accepting God's choice for you and that everything God has created will work to usher in your new home. When the time for settling into marriage comes, remain focused on the goal which is marriage. Your goal is is not to be a great girl friend/boy friend or excellent fiancee/fiance, your goal is to be a wife/husband. Don't get carried away by the dates, happy hours and ceremonies! Be wary of drawbacks; they have become devil’s tools for cracking the foundation. They include distractions and arguments about the type of marriage, venue, aso-ebi, who to visit, who to invite, colour code etc. Big or small, marriage is between two people. My husband and I had 4 joinings! The first, after he met my parents, was on the Altar of God before my Pastor and his wife ONLY. Even if we did not have other ceremonies, as long as God was there, it is signed and sealed in heaven. It is essential to follow the law of the land but don’t sign yourself out by making outrageous demands before you sign yourself in.

Remember that all what you want will not work except it is wrapped in God's will. Find time to read other posts on Divine Connection and feel free to request counsel.

I look forward to celebrating your marital breakthrough.