Wedding Blues

1 Corinthians 13:9-12
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face-to-face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Many couples become depressed after the wedding. One reason for this is the drop in hyperactivity occasioned by suddenly not having anything to look forward to, not being the centre of attention and finding yourself alone in a different home not like what you are used to – for the woman, this is a new home; for the man, this is a home with a new living situation. 

After wedding, life will go on but having taken a new exit; you left route SINGLE and took exit WEDDING towards MARRIAGE Highway, it would not be business as usual. You both have expectations but they may not be met exactly the way you envisioned. You may expect that he'll eat breakfast with you, drop and pick you from work, attend fellowship with you, eat dinner and then spend time chatting with you before you both head to the shower and land in bed or better still he carries you into bed and wrap you in love. Whao, how so sweet! 

But my dear, it may not be so. One of you would most likely change address, quit your job during which you may have to stay home while the other works. The one working may be rather tired to attend fellowship with you or too tired to even have dinner or chat with you. If you are both able to work, you may not have the same schedule; so one may have to give up the car (regardless of who owns the only car) for the use of the one who needs it most. 

After the wedding day, you will discover the REAL person you married. Not because he or she was pretending but because you are now in each other’s comfort zone. If make-up foundation concealed the pimples, you’d get to see it first hand. If bath is taken only when going out, you’ll live with the breaking news. 

Let me paint a scenario for you. During courtship, the man calls when he is free or less busy, before calling he made a decision to talk for 30 minutes or as long as phone credit permits. When he calls, he is relaxed; he probably has planned to share a joke, so you laugh and feel his charm, endearment and excitement. 

Fast forward to the day after wedding; everything becomes impromptu. If you have both become broke as a result of the wedding; expect edginess. If she has had a bad day, don't expect a peck... During courtship, when you serve him salty food, he probably would say, “That's okay dear”; after saying goodbye, he can induce vomit and enter the next available restaurant to eat a nice meal. In marriage, it will not be okay because that may be his only meal for the day. Perhaps she has fallen asleep on your couch during a couple of visits, but all you noticed is her prettiness and calmness; mind you this is seldom a deep sleep, only a nap. But on wedding night as you spend your first official night together you begin to wonder where that loud noise is coming from and low and behold it's your pretty woman roaring in her sleep, "OMG! She snores!" Yes she does, most tired people and those whose air passageway is blocked, do. 

Loving someone is different from living with the person but marriage is loving and living under a covenant or contract (sealed by blood or law). Now this is beyond convenience or commitment, it is required and backed by a consequence when not obeyed. Love may roll through romance but marriage moves through reality. If you can both learn the RAP (Responsibility, Adjustment, Perseverance) Tango, the days after wedding will be enjoyable. 

Some believe that love grows after wedding but others believe that love can only be maintained or sustained after wedding but what I know is that love after wedding will take a different path; for few slightly, for some averagely, for others drastically. Why? Previously you saw through a dim or modified glass, now you'd see clearly perhaps even through a binoculars. 

You may have imagined that she is a size 36B but in marriage you may find she is a 38D! Why? She probably would not discuss with you during courtship that she wears a girdle or (if the reverse) that she wears a padded bra to prop things up and give her clothing the right bobby fitting. You may have imagined sex will not be good because he has a small frame but he may turn out to be a stallion! 

Finally, through it all, you must learn to depend on The Trinity - God, Jesus, Holy Spirit; with the three-in-one, you can successfully navigate the marital route. 

Meditate, Act and Pray

I can't tell you what love will serve you after wedding but I can assure you it will not be the wedding cake everyday! One key lifesaver is that you must position yourself to know his or her REAL love language, learn it and speak it.



Pray that God’s love will prepare you for life after the wedding.

Mrs. Omolola Omoteso-Famuyiwa is a minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others.