Wedding Blues

1 Corinthians 13:9-12
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face-to-face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

Many couples become depressed after the wedding. One reason for this is the drop in hyperactivity occasioned by suddenly not having anything to look forward to, not being the centre of attention and finding yourself alone in a different home not like what you are used to – for the woman, this is a new home; for the man, this is a home with a new living situation. 

After wedding, life will go on but having taken a new exit; you left route SINGLE and took exit WEDDING towards MARRIAGE Highway, it would not be business as usual. You both have expectations but they may not be met exactly the way you envisioned. You may expect that he'll eat breakfast with you, drop and pick you from work, attend fellowship with you, eat dinner and then spend time chatting with you before you both head to the shower and land in bed or better still he carries you into bed and wrap you in love. Whao, how so sweet! 

But my dear, it may not be so. One of you would most likely change address, quit your job during which you may have to stay home while the other works. The one working may be rather tired to attend fellowship with you or too tired to even have dinner or chat with you. If you are both able to work, you may not have the same schedule; so one may have to give up the car (regardless of who owns the only car) for the use of the one who needs it most. 

After the wedding day, you will discover the REAL person you married. Not because he or she was pretending but because you are now in each other’s comfort zone. If make-up foundation concealed the pimples, you’d get to see it first hand. If bath is taken only when going out, you’ll live with the breaking news. 

Let me paint a scenario for you. During courtship, the man calls when he is free or less busy, before calling he made a decision to talk for 30 minutes or as long as phone credit permits. When he calls, he is relaxed; he probably has planned to share a joke, so you laugh and feel his charm, endearment and excitement. 

Fast forward to the day after wedding; everything becomes impromptu. If you have both become broke as a result of the wedding; expect edginess. If she has had a bad day, don't expect a peck... During courtship, when you serve him salty food, he probably would say, “That's okay dear”; after saying goodbye, he can induce vomit and enter the next available restaurant to eat a nice meal. In marriage, it will not be okay because that may be his only meal for the day. Perhaps she has fallen asleep on your couch during a couple of visits, but all you noticed is her prettiness and calmness; mind you this is seldom a deep sleep, only a nap. But on wedding night as you spend your first official night together you begin to wonder where that loud noise is coming from and low and behold it's your pretty woman roaring in her sleep, "OMG! She snores!" Yes she does, most tired people and those whose air passageway is blocked, do. 

Loving someone is different from living with the person but marriage is loving and living under a covenant or contract (sealed by blood or law). Now this is beyond convenience or commitment, it is required and backed by a consequence when not obeyed. Love may roll through romance but marriage moves through reality. If you can both learn the RAP (Responsibility, Adjustment, Perseverance) Tango, the days after wedding will be enjoyable. 

Some believe that love grows after wedding but others believe that love can only be maintained or sustained after wedding but what I know is that love after wedding will take a different path; for few slightly, for some averagely, for others drastically. Why? Previously you saw through a dim or modified glass, now you'd see clearly perhaps even through a binoculars. 

You may have imagined that she is a size 36B but in marriage you may find she is a 38D! Why? She probably would not discuss with you during courtship that she wears a girdle or (if the reverse) that she wears a padded bra to prop things up and give her clothing the right bobby fitting. You may have imagined sex will not be good because he has a small frame but he may turn out to be a stallion! 

Finally, through it all, you must learn to depend on The Trinity - God, Jesus, Holy Spirit; with the three-in-one, you can successfully navigate the marital route. 

Meditate, Act and Pray

I can't tell you what love will serve you after wedding but I can assure you it will not be the wedding cake everyday! One key lifesaver is that you must position yourself to know his or her REAL love language, learn it and speak it.



Pray that God’s love will prepare you for life after the wedding.

Mrs. Omolola Omoteso-Famuyiwa is a minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others.

He Rolls Stones Away

Matthew 28:2

And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it.

The rolling away of the stone from the door changed the story of Jesus’ destiny. The grave, which signifies death was ruptured by the earthquake. The water of the tomb was broken, just like it happens in the womb, to take delivery of a new baby. But this tomb remained permanently opened as the life that came forth never returned into the grave

A similar rolling away of the stone occurred in Genesis 29:10 as recounted in a message by Pastor Rosemary Wellington of Redeemed Christian Church of God Maryland. Rachael was accelerated into destiny by the mighty act of the rolling of the stone that covered a well. It was not yet time to water the flocks. The usual practice was that one would wait until all owners and their flocks were gathered. Men would then roll over the stone for them to access the water and when done, they would put it back into position to cover up the well.

But God made an exception. On this particular day, God made a divine connection between Rachel and Jacob by the rolling away of a stone. Every hindrance in our lives that disconnects us from our destinies can be rolled away by God’s mighty hands. God can overwrite the natural order of events to orchestrate His purpose.

The women who visited the tomb, were all waiting for “the usual process”; they expected that the guards will help roll the stone over and they’ll use the spices brought to perfume Jesus’ body (Luke 24). But for the purpose of God to be fulfilled, just as was done in Genesis 29 (vs. 8) that process was overwritten.

Remember the Red Sea? In Exodus 14, Jesus worked through Moses to roll the waters back. He who had the final say, on whether Pharaoh could continue to flex his muscle, enslave God's children and issue evil orders, rolled the waters back to make a way for the Israelites, God's children.

God removes obstacles to His purpose being fulfilled. He chooses when to change, reorder and reverse processes. You can ask God to roll away any stone that is interfering with you destiny.

Mrs. Omolola Omoteso-Famuyiwa is a minister 

who is passionate about sharing God's words 

for the healing of others.

Prayer Points for Singles

1. Lord, we give thanks for the creation of Divine Connection and those we are called to serve.
2. Dear Lord, we give thanks for the sustenance and success of Divine Connection, DC HOMES (Divine Connection's Harvest Of Marriages Empowerment Summit), other projects and programmes we have embarked on since you called us to serve mature singles in 2009.
3. Heavenly Lord, we give you thanks for the grace and wisdom of God upon the host, Omolola Omoteso-Famuyiwa, for godly leadership.
4. Lord Jesus, we pray for divine release from every yoke of delay to marry.
5. Dear Jesus, we pray that you bring hope and strength to the failing hearts of singles waiting on God; that satan will fail in the ploy to deceive them.
6. Heavenly Father, we pray for divine shield against the spirit of wrong marriages in Jesus' name.
7. We decree O Lord, that everyone in need of better standard of living - job, business, residential apartment, promotion, sponsorship - to enable them live purposefully and get married, will receive breakthrough beyond their imagination.
8. For everyone currently in godly relationships, experiencing storms from the enemy, we pray that the Prince of Peace will calm every storm and guide them safely into marriage in Jesus' name.
9. We pray for sustenance of the homes of Divine Connection members who have entered into the covenant of marriage, that there will be joy, love and the absence of hurtful separation, discord or divorce in Jesus name.
10. May God divinely connect every member of the DC HOMES Committee to godly and joyful marriages this year; we will be testimonies of Harvest of Marriages in Jesus name.
11. We are grateful for the provision that you have made for us as sons and daughters in your kingdom. Lord, your Word says that you have filled the hungry with good things; satisfy our hunger for joyful homes in Jesus name.
12. Lord, no one receives anything except they be given from above. We do not seek to have anything that is not from you. We ask that you will help us, by your spirit, to pray the mind of God to pass regarding our marriage.
13. Loving Father, please restore our broken edges and cleanse us of all that is filthy and positioned to disgrace us.
14. We release the Christian men and women who God has ordained to marry mature single women and men, especially DC committee members and participants, from every entanglement that may be slowing them down from manifesting.
15. We address the foundation of our lives and by the covenant of the death and life of Jesus Christ; we cancel every arrangement that is contrary to our God-ordained home.
16. We renounce every covenant signed, with or without our knowledge; that may be contributing to our marital delay.
17. Divine Connector! Connect me to my divine helper
18. Father, please all those who are trusting you for divine marital connection, answer them speedily in Jesus name.
19. As you singled out Esther, Ruth, Mary, Boaz, Samuel, Isaac, Joseph, single us out for divine connection that will birth our marital joy in Jesus name.
20. Every spirit of "busy for nothing" and "unfruitful venture" that takes abode in my career, be destroyed in Jesus name.
21. Dear Lord, we celebrate mature Christian singles, their place in the body of Christ and the privilege given to them to choose godly spouses.
22. Every evil power that makes Christian single women invisible and unapproachable to God-ordained men seeking their hands in marriage, we silence such powers, in Jesus name.
23. We supernaturally remove every veil and cloud that the enemy has used to cover your glory and beauty.
24. O Lord, deliver us from avoidable mistakes, losses, untimely death, disgrace and very unfriendly friends in Jesus name.
25. Dear Lord, we pray for Divine Connection’s Harvest Of Marriages Empowerment Summit (DC HOMES); make it a resounding success and a positive turn around for organisers and participants.
26. Dear Lord, we pray you give godly men the spirit of boldness, so they can discover your goodness, accept your divine connection and receive favour of you.
27. We refuse to settle for the second best, Lord Jesus, cause us to be divinely connected to your best.
28. Dear Jesus, locate us at the river of our marital wealth and wellness.
29. I am called Beulah, I will be married and my home will be fruitful. We are called Beulah, we will be married and our homes will be fruitful.
30. Our God and help in ages past, our hearts bleed for our homeland. We pray for peace in Nigeria, be merciful unto us and bless us with peace in Jesus name.
31. Father Lord, Please have mercy on me and forgive me of every sexual sin that I might have committed in the past in the name of Jesus.
32. Almighty Father, let your will be done concerning my marriage in the name of Jesus.
33. Father Lord, please don’t let my attitude drive away my ‘God-sent’ husband/wife whenever we come in contact in the name of Jesus.
34. Everlasting Father, please don’t let us take agents of the devil as wife or husband in the name of Jesus.
35. Every satanic agent, working against my marriage, Father Lord, pull them down and destroy them in the name of Jesus (1John 3:8).
36. Every satanic device, designed to deceive me to marry wrongly, Almighty Father, frustrate them in the name of Jesus (Job 5:12).
37. I lift up the sword of the Lord and I cut in pieces every satanic monitoring gadget and the telecommunication system of the enemy. I jam their listening devices by thunder in Jesus name.
38. Every evil power hindering me from getting married, Lord destroy them in the name of Jesus.
39.  We thank you Jesus because you have always answered our prayers and your thoughts for us are thoughts of good to lead us to expected good end.
40. My Father, please help me to stop being my own enemy; forgive my past mistakes and disobediences in Jesus name.
41. God of grace, single me out for great grace in Jesus name.
42. Father fortify me with your power and anoint me to do exploits for you.
43. Our God, we pray for patience as your path lead us out of the crisis of the discrimination we face as Christian singles who walk the path of holiness.
44. Dear Lord, as we focus on your plan and purpose for our lives, help us to overcome the fear of the unknown, of loneliness and of being without a mate.
45. Daddy, prepare our hearts to find the love you have destined for us.
46. Our Father, take control and destroy every plan of the devil against the coming DC HOMES (Divine Connection’s Harvest Of Marriages Empowerment Summit); let your name be glorified.
47. God, give me the courage to surrender it all to you; you are my light, love and ever-present help.
48. Heavenly Father, wrestle from me habits, problems and patterns that hold me back from finding love.
49. Help us to live like Jesus; to see thee more clearly, love thee more dearly, follow thee more nearly, day by day.
50. HOMES will establish many godly homes this year in Jesus name.

Mrs. Omolola Omoteso-Famuyiwa is a minister who is 

passionate about sharing God's words 

for the healing of others.

The Right Connections

1 Corinthians 7:32 (KJV)

But I would have you without carefulness.He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

I attended a well-promoted 10-hour vigil for singles by a Bible-believing church. Praise, prayer, dance, special music ministrations were not in shortfall. I recollect watching a

version of Who wants to be a millionaire as I sat there wondering when thousands of singles gathered for the possibility of meeting a mate would have an opportunity to interact. I left disappointed. My expectations were not met.

Expectations birth disappointment. God expects us to look up to him and not to people

(Hebrews 12:2). At his instance, He decides who to use. Naomi was used to help Boaz and Ruth to find each other (Ruth 2). The servant of Abraham was used to find Rebekah for Isaac. Both Rebekah and Boaz got connected to their spouses after divine interactions. Today, many singles have nowhere to go to connect. Churches teach on how to be married, but how many teach on how to live single? 

What does it mean to live single? It is not just about church services to praise and dance. We need to connect to God and connect to others. To live single means to joyfully connect to God through devotion, teaching and fellowship; peacefully connect to self through the innate image and beauty stored up in you; warmly connect with family and friends regardless of class and qualification through sharing; excitedly connect with passion through the pursuit of what you love doing; willingly connect with service through those God put in the area of your influence. 

Take  Home Lesson: Life as an unmarried or single person can be lived fully if you are connected to Jesus Christ. If all you live for is focus on and expectations of being married,

you may be frustrated.

Homework: Is God aware I am single? Ask God for the grace to trust Him.

Omolola Omoteso is a minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others. She is the host of Divine Connection and Chair for DC HOMES, an annual gathering for singles.  

This article was first published in eTeachit, a daily devotional.