Living Single

1 Timothy 6:6 (KJV)

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Excitedly she said to me, “I will like to marry a Nigerian, I love Africans!” Weeks after weeks, I kept praying about this solemn request of an American woman with 3 children who made a safe run from a man who was prepared to send her to an early grave. When God gave the first word concerning her situation, I looked for her and she was no longer there. Why? She stopped attending church because her need of being matched to a particular type of man was taking longer than she planned. Needless to say her life is self-ordered, not God-directed. Whitney Houston’s song, “I look to you”, mirrors the sound for what should be coming from the lips of every Believer who is living single.

When answers do not come to the age-old question of “Why am I not married?” we begin a cycle of frustration that has seen many getting married to ungodly mates. At the end of the day, neither marriage nor singleness would endure (1 Peter 1:25). Anger, resentment, depression, repression, anguish are feelings we go through as we place a demand on God for a mate. “Dear God, if you don’t do it by next year, forget about my worship!” Yet His Word declares, for he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust (Ps 103:14). Instead of holding on to the One who offers us unconditional love, we place a selfish demand for a tainted human love. We get it, and then begin crying to God to save us from wicked husbands and wives. 

We exchange voluntary love for involuntary love. To make things appear normal, we clothe the mate we seek or the one we have found in mystical or mythical garb forgetting that love, even in marriage, is based on the choices two individuals with different personalities make. Contentment is a conscious choice to accept, appreciate, enjoy and make the best use of what you have. You should be content living single knowing that God knows your innermost desires and would bless you with the things you need in due season. This is why Paul could say, I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content (Philippians 4:11).

Take Home Lesson: If you are not content living single only with God, how will you be content living with His son or daughter?

Homework: Ask yourself, ‘Is God sufficient for my singleness?’ Thank God for being more than enough.

Omolola Omoteso is a minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others. She is the host of Divine Connection and Chair for DC HOMES, an annual gathering for singles.  

This article was first published in eTeachit, a daily devotional.

Why am I not married?

Motunrayo Alaka, an advocate for investigative journalism, once posted an article that points to many now asking Google for everything. I won’t be surprised if you got to this link by googling, “Why am I not married?”

This is a question that many singles shy away from in public but one they ask privately and tearfully. A question I had to answer in my quest for marriage.

A young man in his late 20s told me how his income was hardly enough to sustain him and how try as he may, he cannot seem to settle into marriage. Further counsel revealed that he was living far above his income. He was also spending a lot to gratify his girlfriend and sexual partners instead of planning for a home and signing into marriage with the one he loves. The reason he isn't "settled" is not far fetched.

A woman in her early 30s told me how her company was going through a hard time and how her dad threw the family into turmoil by jetting off with other women. Further counsel revealed that she was afraid of stepping out in faith to explore other job options and her dad's behaviour left her with the fear of men which became the genesis of disappointments. The reason she isn't married is not far fetched.

After struggling with the thoughts of being single for life, a woman answered her call to a life of missions and found joy in touching the lives of children God sent her way.

I stayed single for a long time because what I wanted was not reachable and what was reachable was not desired. Where was the will of God in why I remained single? It was not God's will that I remained single but as I stretched for my will, God's will became more and more alien to me. Peace was restored to my marital journey when I trusted God. Remaining single may be God-ordained for some but for many, it is self inflicted. 

"Why am I not married?" is a question which when sincerely answered can uncover the veil that may be preventing you from embarking on the marital journey truthfully and continuing beyond the altar.

Many of those who are married had to compromise one thing or the other – height, weight, profession, complexion, pay packet, tribe, qualification, class, age etc.

1st Peter 1 gives a good picture of God's expectation. Verse 5 says "Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time." Holding up your faith is a requirement for connecting to an earthly mate. Verse 13 and 24 points out: "Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ… For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away." Verse 25 nails it "But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you."

When answers do not come to this age old question we begin a cycle of frustration that has seen many getting married to evil mates. At the end of the day, neither marriage nor singleness would endure. Only the word of God.

Dear brethren and friends, why are you not married? If you married in your late 20s or 30s, 40s, 50s... What delayed your marital bliss? Sharing may be all you need to set yourself free and open the freeway for others as well.

Mrs. Omolola is minister who is passionate about sharing God's words for the healing of others.

Victory In Worship (II)

Hope you have read Victory In Worship (I)? You need the background to put this in the right perspective.

What is the symbol of man's disobedience? What is the symbol of man's rejection? What is the symbol of man's rebellion? Where did God keep these articles? What did God cover them with?

But, the same God that saved all these articles signifying that humans did not fulfill their part of the covenant (agreement) in a sealed box with a cover on which sat two cherubim, signifying the angels that stood guard at the Garden of Eden after humans were driven out; a place where a consecrated and cleansed priest can only enter once a year, tore the veil and made the place open. But, the condition remains; we can only approach His throne of grace boldly as required in Hebrews 4:16 if we come with a pure heart devoid of unforgiveness.

Why are our prayers not so effective? Why are we still waiting for that miracle instead of being a miracle worker?  Are we disobeying God’s law? Are we rejecting God’s provision? Are we rebelling against His authority or choice of a leader? The Bible says obedience is better than sacrifice and rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft (1^st Samuel 15:22-23). So do you think God will listen to those who reject Him, bring Him offerings in place of obeying Him and compound the issue by practicing witchcraft? The authority God intended was God's authority and direct care so He gave His law, just 10 and later reduced it to 2, He provided sustenance through daily manna and when man decided they wanted a physical leader, He chose a leader but man wanted to DIY (Do It Yourself).

No, I am not rejecting your provision but God I want a BMW not the Honda you have blessed me with. I need my own car, not my fiancee chauffeuring me to work. Are we rebelling against his leadership? God why this man, why not the other one that is so intelligent and handsome? God, why this ugly woman, why not that one that is so pretty? But God, that guy's mother is so unlovable, I bet you understand why I can’t obey that law about love your neighbor as yourself. God if only you give me a wife/husband, I would love! But Gd, how long do I after wait for a child! 

Have you worshipped Him for keeping you alive? Have you worshipped Him for seeing you through education, service year, travel abroad...? Have you worshipped Him for protecting you from natural and man-made disasters? You asked for a car but he decided to bless you with a friend who can drive you to work, yet instead of worship you murmur like the Israelites forgetting that he never promised to dance to your whims and caprices only to make daily provision; which is what he taught us in the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6). Your friends are still praying the prayer of divine marital connection yet instead of worshipping God for yours you bother Him daily about why this must have been a wrong choice. If you made the choice, shouldn't you worship Him reverently and ask for mercy? If He made the choice, don't you believe He will work His purpose out? (Romans 8:24)

Are we disobeying, rejecting and rebelling and yet want Him to help us? We can only enter into His fellowship and key into His divine purpose, if we worship Him in spirit and in truth. And the only way to truly worship is by obeying His law, accepting His provision and complying with His authority.

In Exodus 3:21-22 God blessed the Israelites; as He continues to bless us today. And in Exodus 25:1-2 God gave a specific command to Moses. God clearly indicated that offerings for the Tabernacle should only be brought willingly. It is still the same today. Are you giving your worship willingly or grudgingly? If it is not willingly, God does not recognise it. We murmur about how His blessing is inadequate and take a pitiable size to him irreverently. If you gave someone blood to save his/her life and to say thank you the person sends you a useless gift through his/her house help, how will you feel? 

He is not a helpless God; he can help himself! That is why Uzzah died; he was an uncleansed, unconsecrated vessel that was not authorised to touch the ark. The Levites were not given an inheritance because God wanted them to focus on worship (Joshua 13:14); only the Levites were consecrated and authorised to bring worship into the Holy of Holies where the Ark of Covenant resided.

Who knew Obed’Edom. He was not a man of means but he was a Levite of the family of the Korhites. He was consecrated for worship. When David, a king became afraid after Uzzah was struck dead, he decided to put the Ark in Obed’Edom’s house. He must have thought, since this man is unknown, no one will miss him if God decide to strike him dead too. But guess what, because Obed’Edom was consecrated and humbly worshipped God, he reaped the manifold blessings of God dwelling in his house. Remember that the Ark signified God’s presence. God dwelt with Him, He gave God due worship and he was greatly blessed (2 Samuel 6:11).

Worshipping God is serious business, which we cannot afford to treat with levity. Seeing what the Israelites had to do, can we say that we are worshipping God the way we should? Do we prefer the previous mode of worship? Would we like to be the priest who has to go in annual bearign the sins of everyone, yet not knowing whether his worship will be accepted or not; if not accepted, he dies, if accepted, he returns.

It is not only sin that can separate us from God; levity in the way we worship Him can also separate us and ruin our relationship with God. Jesus preached about unforgiveness and referred to it as a bondage, which separates us from God. It affects our prayers. It is self-inflicted suffering. It breaks our fellowship with God and hinders our worship. Knowing this, God instructed us to forgive, Matthew 6:15. We must continue to ask God to help us forgive and even pray for those who hurt us like Jesus did on the cross. When we forgive, we are displaying the fruits of the spirit spelled out in Galatians 5:22-23.

How can we be victorious in worship?

By presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice in honor of the price Jesus paid (Ephesians 5:2, Romans 12:1-2). Only someone who truly loves God and His creation can worship sincerely. Worship must be devoid of rejection, disobedience and rebellion. Worship cannot include anything that leads to unforgiveness.

Benefits of worship or obedience are laid down in Deuteronomy 28 and so are curses. Your prayer for a spouse must be preceded by worship; make worship your lifestyle and trust that God is able to do more that you can imagine (Ephesians 3:20). But if you are saying, I do not even know this God and will like to be saved or I will like to rededicate my life to the true worship of God, then take a step of faith and say this prayer:

 Dear God, I come to you in the name of Jesus Christ. I acknowledge that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness. I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to repent from my sin. You said in Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved. Right now I confess Jesus Christ as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead.  I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Saviour. Thank you Jesus for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace has led me to repentance. Lord Jesus transform my life so that I may bring glory and honour to you. Thank you Jesus for dying for me and giving me eternal life.

Please spend a moment in worship of the I AM; The Ancient of Days, The One who is, who was and who will forever be. I particularly love the song, "I bow my knee before your throne..".

If you have been saying I have truly worshipped God in the past and served in any Bible believing church or ministry but I haven’t reaped the benefits or others (or you) are asking, “Where is your (my) God”, please fall on your knees reverently and begin to worship God. Pray against every act of unforgiveness (directly or indirectly) that may have impeded your worship. Remember, because God did not forgive, worship was not direct, God related with man ruthlessly (Uzzah died) and blessing was impeded until God forgave and accepted worship through Jesus Christ who gave an acceptable sacrifice. Please pray.

You may pray or consider asking your pastor to pray with you; let him/her know that you have laboured and desire to continue to worship and serve but the veil blocking your worship and blessings must be thorn for you to directly access God’s mercies. If you decide to pray on your own, the prayer of consecration below can guide you:

Lord even as I have in obedience responded to Your Word, consecrate me Lord for your worship, help me to truly forgive so I can worship you in spirit and in truth. Lord, let your tenderness melt my bitterness and your lovingness uproot my unworthiness. As I worship in your presence, let there be healing, let there be deliverance, let the Holy Spirit’s gentle touch flow through me, inhabit my praises and bless my worship as individuals and as a member of your church. Help me to obey your commandments, accept your provision and comply with your authority. In Jesus Christ name I pray.