Ego and Pride: Thieves on the Love Cross
Yes a man who is passive will soon reveal arrogance. When you confront his passivity, ego and pride show up to defend it.
Passivity says, "I will not move."
Ego says, "I don't need to move."
Pride says, "How dare you tell me to move."
That is why many men stay stuck. It is not that they don't know what to do. It is that pride will not let them admit they have not been doing it or lethargy has set in. After Passivity comes ego. Ego is passivity dressed up as strength. It sounds like:
"I am fine on my own, I don't need a wife."
"I don't need counselling, I can handle it myself."
"I don't need to change, she needs to accept me as I am."
"I am a man, I don't explain myself."
"The Bible already mentioned the heads-up of the man, she needs to accept that even if she is richer!"
That is not strength. That is fear wearing a mask. Ego makes a man protect his image instead of pursuing his healing. He would rather look strong and stay broken, than look broken to receive strength or become strong.
While in friendship, relationship or courtship you are NOT her husband YET. You are a friend and the Bible says, he who must become a friend must show himself friendly.
How do you show yourself friendly while ego is pushing you to stand your ground and make demands for respect and submission rather than seeking to serve to show you have all it takes to be the man.
Ego will make you argue with your counsellor, correct your pastor, compete with your brothers, and dominate your woman, all to avoid one sentence: "I was wrong, help me." "I have failed to find myself the right woman, I need your help and I am willing to learn to lead."
Then comes pride. Pride is ego that has grown roots. Pride says:
"I will not apologise first."
"I will not say I need help."
"I will not reschedule properly, she should just understand my situation."
"I will not submit to counselling or go back to that counselling session."
Indeed a counsellee said to me, when you asked me to come for counselling, I said why do I need it. I am so glad I eventually gave in. I have learned a lot! I never rwakised they were rejecting me for things beyond material wealth!
I remember one of my counsellees who was in a noisy place for a scheduled counsel he had paid for. That was not just bad network. That was pride. He booked the time, he chose the place, he could not hear, yet he expected me to keep repeating myself. Pride refused to say, "Sorry, my fault, let me find a quiet place and call back." When I asked for the session to end and we ended thr call, Holy Spirit ministered to him and he found a quiet place and he called back.
Pride always shifts responsibility. Passivity avoids it. Pride blames someone else for it. And he tried to do that.
The Bible records, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18 KJV
How Ego and Pride Kill Marital Breakthrough
1. They block counsel.
A proud man cannot be taught. He hears correction as attack. So he stays in the same cycle, with the same excuses, year after year.
2. They block apology.
He can say "sorry" to keep peace, but he cannot say "I was wrong, I take responsibility, I will change." Without that, no woman can feel safe with him.
3. They block intimacy.
Ego needs to win. Love needs to understand. You cannot do both at the same time. A man who must always be right will always be alone, even in marriage.
4. They block God.
God resists the proud. Not because He hates them, but because pride leaves no room for grace.
> "God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." — James 4:6 KJV
5. They block communication.
They always want to put in the last word. They never listen. Never share feedback. Never close the loop.
The cure is not shame; it is humility. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself honestly. A humble man can say:
"I have been passive."
"My ego has been masking my fear."
"My pride has cost me time, relationships, and peace."
"I need help. I need God. I need to change."
"I need a woman to enjoy life with."
That sentence is where breakthrough begins.
Passivity will keep you stiff. Ego will keep you up in defense mode. Pride will keep you blind. Humility will make you move, make you teachable, make you safe to love.
To say it clearly:
A man who cannot be corrected cannot be trusted with a wife. A man who cannot say "I was wrong" cannot say "I love you" and mean it.
To be a real man is to drop the ego, kill the pride, take responsibility and let God make you strong enough to be humble.
Breakthrough truth:
God will not bless what you refuse to confront.Weakness hidden becomes a wall. Weakness confessed becomes a place for grace to grow
Now let us zero in on the title, the thieves called ego and pride hang right beside love, and they steal it while it is dying.
Imagine This Picture
On the Cross, Jesus was in the middle, between two thieves. They both had ego and must have maintained a stoic look as the Saviour was hung alongside them.
One thief mocked Him pridefully. "If thou be Christ, save thyself and us." That is ego. It demands proof. It says, "Prove you love me." The other thief repented. "Lord, remember me." That is humility. It says, "I don't deserve this, but I need you."
Ego and pride are the two thieves that hang on either side of every relationship that is trying to survive.
1. Ego says, "I am right."
Ego does not want to understand. It wants to win. In counselling, ego argues. In relationship, ego keeps score. In marriage, ego says, "I will not apologise first."
Ego will let the relationship die just to prove a point.
2. Pride says, "I don't need you."
Pride is ego dressed in strength. For the successful man, pride says, "I have come too far to be corrected." For the accomplished woman, pride says, "I am too much for a man to handle."
Pride will not ask for help. Pride will not say "I am sorry." Pride will not say "I need you." Pride will not say "I am tired, pray for me."
Pride would rather be alone and right, than together and healed.
Why They Are Thieves
Thieves do not announce themselves. They take quietly.
Ego steals communication. You stop talking to protect your point. Pride steals vulnerability. You stop opening up to protect your image.
Together, they steal forgiveness, intimacy, and peace. That is why a couple can love each other and still lose each other.
You can have prayer, you can have chemistry, you can have a yes, but if ego and pride are still on the cross with you, they will steal the breakthrough before it becomes bliss.
What To Do With Thieves
You do not negotiate with thieves. You crucify them.
"And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts." — Galatians 5:24 KJV
That means:
1. Kill the need to win.
In love, if you win the argument, you lose the person.
2. Kill the need to be right.
Say, "Help me understand you," instead of "You don't understand me."
3. Kill the need to look strong. Real strength says, "I was wrong. Forgive me."
4. Kill the need to be independent. Let your partner carry you sometimes. That is not weakness. That is covenant.
5. Kill the need to claim you are the man. Let your strength in leading and loving secure your place as the man.
One thief died mocking. One thief died repenting. One went to hell and the other went to paradise. Every day in love, you get to choose which thief you will be. The one whose ego led to pride or the one whose ego led to humility.
Will you be the ego that says, "Prove it"?
Or the humble heart that says, "Lord, remember me"?
Choose humility. Humility does not steal love. Humility saves it.
Grace Always!
Yes a man who is passive will soon reveal arrogance. When you confront his passivity, ego and pride show up to defend it.
Passivity says, "I will not move."
Ego says, "I don't need to move."
Pride says, "How dare you tell me to move."
That is why many men stay stuck. It is not that they don't know what to do. It is that pride will not let them admit they have not been doing it or lethargy has set in. After Passivity comes ego. Ego is passivity dressed up as strength. It sounds like:
"I am fine on my own, I don't need a wife."
"I don't need counselling, I can handle it myself."
"I don't need to change, she needs to accept me as I am."
"I am a man, I don't explain myself."
"The Bible already mentioned the heads-up of the man, she needs to accept that even if she is richer!"
That is not strength. That is fear wearing a mask. Ego makes a man protect his image instead of pursuing his healing. He would rather look strong and stay broken, than look broken to receive strength or become strong.
While in friendship, relationship or courtship you are NOT her husband YET. You are a friend and the Bible says, he who must become a friend must show himself friendly.
How do you show yourself friendly while ego is pushing you to stand your ground and make demands for respect and submission rather than seeking to serve to show you have all it takes to be the man.
Ego will make you argue with your counsellor, correct your pastor, compete with your brothers, and dominate your woman, all to avoid one sentence: "I was wrong, help me." "I have failed to find myself the right woman, I need your help and I am willing to learn to lead."
Then comes pride. Pride is ego that has grown roots. Pride says:
"I will not apologise first."
"I will not say I need help."
"I will not reschedule properly, she should just understand my situation."
"I will not submit to counselling or go back to that counselling session."
Indeed a counsellee said to me, when you asked me to come for counselling, I said why do I need it. I am so glad I eventually gave in. I have learned a lot! I never rwakised they were rejecting me for things beyond material wealth!
I remember one of my counsellees who was in a noisy place for a scheduled counsel he had paid for. That was not just bad network. That was pride. He booked the time, he chose the place, he could not hear, yet he expected me to keep repeating myself. Pride refused to say, "Sorry, my fault, let me find a quiet place and call back." When I asked for the session to end and we ended thr call, Holy Spirit ministered to him and he found a quiet place and he called back.
Pride always shifts responsibility. Passivity avoids it. Pride blames someone else for it. And he tried to do that.
The Bible records, "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18 KJV
How Ego and Pride Kill Marital Breakthrough
1. They block counsel.
A proud man cannot be taught. He hears correction as attack. So he stays in the same cycle, with the same excuses, year after year.
2. They block apology.
He can say "sorry" to keep peace, but he cannot say "I was wrong, I take responsibility, I will change." Without that, no woman can feel safe with him.
3. They block intimacy.
Ego needs to win. Love needs to understand. You cannot do both at the same time. A man who must always be right will always be alone, even in marriage.
4. They block God.
God resists the proud. Not because He hates them, but because pride leaves no room for grace.
> "God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." — James 4:6 KJV
5. They block communication.
They always want to put in the last word. They never listen. Never share feedback. Never close the loop.
The cure is not shame; it is humility. Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It is thinking of yourself honestly. A humble man can say:
"I have been passive."
"My ego has been masking my fear."
"My pride has cost me time, relationships, and peace."
"I need help. I need God. I need to change."
"I need a woman to enjoy life with."
That sentence is where breakthrough begins.
Passivity will keep you stiff. Ego will keep you up in defense mode. Pride will keep you blind. Humility will make you move, make you teachable, make you safe to love.
To say it clearly:
A man who cannot be corrected cannot be trusted with a wife. A man who cannot say "I was wrong" cannot say "I love you" and mean it.
To be a real man is to drop the ego, kill the pride, take responsibility and let God make you strong enough to be humble.
Breakthrough truth:
God will not bless what you refuse to confront.Weakness hidden becomes a wall. Weakness confessed becomes a place for grace to grow
Now let us zero in on the title, the thieves called ego and pride hang right beside love, and they steal it while it is dying.
Imagine This Picture
On the Cross, Jesus was in the middle, between two thieves. They both had ego and must have maintained a stoic look as the Saviour was hung alongside them.
One thief mocked Him pridefully. "If thou be Christ, save thyself and us." That is ego. It demands proof. It says, "Prove you love me." The other thief repented. "Lord, remember me." That is humility. It says, "I don't deserve this, but I need you."
Ego and pride are the two thieves that hang on either side of every relationship that is trying to survive.
1. Ego says, "I am right."
Ego does not want to understand. It wants to win. In counselling, ego argues. In relationship, ego keeps score. In marriage, ego says, "I will not apologise first."
Ego will let the relationship die just to prove a point.
2. Pride says, "I don't need you."
Pride is ego dressed in strength. For the successful man, pride says, "I have come too far to be corrected." For the accomplished woman, pride says, "I am too much for a man to handle."
Pride will not ask for help. Pride will not say "I am sorry." Pride will not say "I need you." Pride will not say "I am tired, pray for me."
Pride would rather be alone and right, than together and healed.
Why They Are Thieves
Thieves do not announce themselves. They take quietly.
Ego steals communication. You stop talking to protect your point. Pride steals vulnerability. You stop opening up to protect your image.
Together, they steal forgiveness, intimacy, and peace. That is why a couple can love each other and still lose each other.
You can have prayer, you can have chemistry, you can have a yes, but if ego and pride are still on the cross with you, they will steal the breakthrough before it becomes bliss.
What To Do With Thieves
You do not negotiate with thieves. You crucify them.
"And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts." — Galatians 5:24 KJV
That means:
1. Kill the need to win.
In love, if you win the argument, you lose the person.
2. Kill the need to be right.
Say, "Help me understand you," instead of "You don't understand me."
3. Kill the need to look strong. Real strength says, "I was wrong. Forgive me."
4. Kill the need to be independent. Let your partner carry you sometimes. That is not weakness. That is covenant.
5. Kill the need to claim you are the man. Let your strength in leading and loving secure your place as the man.
One thief died mocking. One thief died repenting. One went to hell and the other went to paradise. Every day in love, you get to choose which thief you will be. The one whose ego led to pride or the one whose ego led to humility.
Will you be the ego that says, "Prove it"?
Or the humble heart that says, "Lord, remember me"?
Choose humility. Humility does not steal love. Humility saves it.
Grace Always!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for your comment. Upon approval, you can view it on the site. God bless you.