Interceding for those in God's Waiting Room

Many times our own burden overweigh us so much that we don't take a moment to consider what others may be going through. But in Divine Connection, we are blessed with a group of women, who though are presently in God's waiting room, have committed time to praying for the vision of DC. They are the Daughters of Zion and meet on the Prayer Channel (online) every Wednesday to intercede for divine connections, purposeful unions, joyful homes and Godly children. From time to time, each member shares what has been laid in her heart by God. 

One thing I learned from one of the women, is the philosophy of ducking. When you duck, God can see your man fully. I added that, we must be careful not to duck for too long so that at least God knows we are standing by him as a pillar of strength to help him with God’s strict pruning. The day she shared with us, it was like she saw my prayer points ahead. Even some of the examples she used were part of my prayer point. That’s the beauty of God working through us to interpret the theme and vision of DC to us in a way that continues to bless members.

Today, I'd like you and I to join in the prayer of intercession for these beautiful women and others who may be in God's waiting room especially for children. The Bible says none shall be barren yet many pastors call out "the barren women" for prayers; is it that they don't trust God or they believe God must be reminded. Women don't make babies alone, yet no one calls "the barren men". That tells you that the society puts the weight on women hence the need to specially uphold them in prayers.

As these amazing women have committed to praying especially that affliction will not arise a second time for those who waited so long for marriage, we too must pray that the joy of marriage would not elude those crying out to God for fulfillment and balance in their marriage.

You may adopt any position, you may use any format i.e. worship ahead of praying but be sure to commit quality time and as you do so, the God of signs and wonders would deliver your miracles speedily in Jesus name

1.   I don’t know how animals do it but that is what we would have had. Any body sleeping with any body when the urge comes. God magnanimously chose to exalt and esteem us more highly than animals. He decided to create a mate like us, so that marriage is not between man and animal but between male and female. So let's pray for the institution of marriage.

2.   I usually tell my audience that getting married has nothing to do with age, status, skill or stature; look around you and the reality would hit you. I visited a sister sometimes ago, she served food for her mother-in-law but she didn’t put water in a bowl for the traditional hand-washing and I was like “How could you, don’t you know what you are saying is, ‘Ki e to jeun, e lo san owo ni kitchen, ti e ba de jeun to, e mo ona ibe…’ (Before you eat, go and wash your hands in the kitchen, and after you are done eating you know your way…). She was like “Ha!” I was really going to rub it in when I shook myself awake and reminded myself that, it is she that is married not I. She is living the experience; I am a custodian of the theory. You don’t know how many friends have looked at you (if you are married) and wondered, Olorun de fun eleyi na ni oko! (God gave even this one a husband!) or (if you are not married) sneered at you that you don't deserve to be. Your husband may be one-eyed or partially deaf or living with one condition or the other but the fact remains that you are considered blessed if you are married. Let’s go ahead and thank God for the privilege of marriage because the Bible says two are better than one because when one is cold, the other is assures of warmth.

3.   Yes there is the institution of marriage and once a woman or man gets into the early twenties, your body begins to yearn for this union. Yet, you and I know that not everyone is married. You may still be single or have siblings, older and younger ones, aunties, uncles, friends, co-workers who are yet to be married, let’s cry out to God on their behalf. Even though married people may still be looking up to God for biological children, they had a sense of fulfillment when they got married, when someone finally “put a ring on it”. So let’s cry out to God that God’s mercies will prevail and there would be a harvest of marriages and those we know will not be left out.

4.   Lord, give me wisdom to build my home. Proverbs 14:1 King James Version (KJV). If you are a mature single, the building has started and if you are married, the building is incomplete, so pray that God would give you wisdom that flows from His throne of grace to build your home into a joyful masterpiece.

5.   Brethren it is not everyone who is married or will marry will experience the love of a man or woman. I counselled a Ghanaian woman who was dating a Nigerian man, immediately she told me his story and I saw his picture something told me this is going no where. So I asked for his name to pray further and I got clarity that “Mba (no)”. But how do I go and tell a 34-year old woman that this is not it; so I prayed. Within 3 weeks of my interaction and prayers with her, the relationship caved and it looked like this woman was going to kill herself, so I started another round of grief counseling. Brethren all the assurances I gave her fell on deaf ears because what she could see and hear is the sound and sight of being dumped. But my God came through. Within one month, another man came around and even though she is taking things slowly, already she sees the difference between running after a man and a man running after her. I don’t know where you are on the love continuum but you will pray for you and those you are interceding for that they will experience REAL love, the inexplicable love; the one that flows from above without conditions.

6.   As I grew up, I kept praying that God would give me a man like my dad. As I grew up, as sweet as he is, I began to build an inner vow against marriage. I also remember seeing my school mother lament about having an erect nipple and I began to pray against having an erect “troublesome” nipple. Now I know that was a wrong prayer. Sister, believe it or not, something you have done or said consciously or unconsciously may have made marriage repulsive or unattractive to those around you. But the only reason we trust that those in it will remain married and those not married will step in, despite the challenges inherent in creating a home with someone who may not be of the same background, is because we treasure the companionship and the status. Let’s pray that we will experience true contentment, which the Bible calls great gain. Not a superficial fulfillment but a fulfillment that flows through the married to make marriage attractive to the unmarried.

7.   We celebrate Mummy Eve but her first son became a vagabond and the second son was murdered. We celebrate Esther but she was a woman who entered into a polygamous relationship to save her people; she married into wealth but she was not free. She saved her people but no record that she had a child. We acknowledge Rebecca but her son John, Jesus’ trailblazer, became a wanderer who rang the bell proclaiming a vision that people described at best then as insane. We celebrate Mary but her son who is today celebrated world over died at 33. We celebrate Jesus but he sweated blood and still the cup of dying for you and I did not pass over Him! One side of the story is great but the other must have been filled with grief. Unfortunately like the Yourbas would say, “Tibi tire la da ile aiye” (the world is created with bad and good); both came in the same package. Let us pray that the mercy of God would prevail over the challenges in our lives and that God bless us with grace and strength for the challenges that will not pass. 2nd Corinthians 12:8-10.

8.   The Bible says male and female created he them and he blessed them. Let us pray that God will bless the marriages around us – church, work place etc. and divinely connect the unmarried so we all can reap the blessings of marital union.

H.O.M.E.S = Harvest Of Marriages Empowerment Summit

Did you attend the "Harvest of Marriages"?

Please leave your comment about the programme and how what you learned impacted you thereafter...

Meanwhile, here is  a story of how the vision started...

Around 1999, Omolola received a divine instruction to “go and learn under Pastor Bimbo Odukoya” to which she responded that Pastor Bimbo was doing a great job, is here for the long haul and needed no duplicate. When the divine call persisted, she chose to dub Pastor Bimbo’s tapes from the archive of the television station where she worked and had the responsibility of reviewing the tapes for on air broadcast, she then reviewed them one after the other in the comfort of her living room. On hearing the news of Pastor Bimbo’s death, she broke down in tears as the divine call became apparent. After suggesting Divine Connection to Pastor Akin Adubi (RCCG Jesus Palace, MD), he took it up and partnered with the DC Host to actualise the vision of holding a breakfast meeting. That became DC’s inaugural meeting.

As the DC Host walked Pastor Kemi Onanuga of RCCG Jesus House, one of the participants at the meeting, to her vehicle, she said, "How come you are going to Nigeria after starting such a great vision.... Anyway, there is a huge audience waiting from you... Pastor Bimbo's demise has created a vacuum which no one is yet to fill... Go ahead and begin the ground breaking and I would be behind you to support you". The DC Host never discussed the genesis of the DC vision yet God confirmed it through His daughter.

It took the insistence of Pastor Akin Adubi (Daddy G.O's son-in-law) that the programme should be done before the DC Host departed the US in 2009 and Pastor Onanuga's statement after the programme in 2009 (10 years after the initial call) for the DC Host to realise that the days of running from the divine call is over. Both were affirmations that Divine Connection was indeed from God.

In 2009 after Omolola returned to Nigeria, DC was inaugurated in Nigeria via an event tagged DC KISS (Keep Interaction Simple & Short). When the vision was shared with Pastor Niyi Ajibola (RCCG Throne of Grace), he confirmed that the vision will grow to become a programme to reckon with within the Apapa Family of the Redeemed Christian Church of God. In 2010, Omolola was invited to minister to TOG Singles. In 2011, the first Mature Singles Summit was held at RCCG TOG with Pastor Grace Okonrende as Guest Minister. As a prelude to the 2013 summit, Omolola was invited as Guest Speaker to RCCG The Covenant House Breakfast Meeting. This became a summit of sort with Omolola taking the audience through a taste of DC’s interactive sessions and ministration on May 18, 2013.

When the decision was made to partner with churches for the 2013 Summit, DC met with the Pastors in Charge of RCCG Throne of Grace, RCCG Olive Tree and RCCG The Covenant House and they all directed us to the ministers in charge who in turn pointed us to the president of their singles ministry. Indeed it was a divine connection as everyone gave maximum support to the initiative. The success story of the 2013 Summit cannot be told without this rare support from pastors, ministers, members and the amazing contribution by the committee members who went over and beyond to actualise the dream. The media also warmed up to us as Cool FM, MiTV, LTV, Eko FM and Radio Nigeria took up the responsibility of hyping the event.

It was during one of the committee meetings that Omolola drew everyone’s attention to the fact that when ‘E’ is added to HOM the acronym for this year’s theme, one would have HOME, in the light of the event being tagged a summit, we ratified the name HOMES i.e. Harvest Of Marriages Empowerment Summit as brand name for DC’s annual summit. And so a new vision was birthed with 12 committee members who are poised to remain the disciples on which the continuation of this summit will rest. This is an indication that this indeed is a divine connection, driven by the TRINITY!

This year, singles (especially mature singles) from partner churches, the Apapa Family, churches of committee members, neighbouring churches, corporate offices e.g. banks and Divine Connection members participated in the summit which was organised as DC’s 4^th anniversary. What an awesome event this year’s summit is especially with Omolola Omoteso Famuyiwa celebrating 40 years of God’s love and faithfulness via the ACE 4.0 Project.

Understanding God's Will

Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

One thing we need to note is that God’s will does not mean absence of challenges. Sarah was God’s will for Abraham yet they waited for years and even tried to help God before the promised son came. Eve was God’s will for Adam yet the apple challenge that sent them out of Eden came, the loss of one son and the banishment of another came. 

A sister, who was once counseled to sign into God’s will by the minister, ran back claiming she probably did not hear well and so she wanted out. Why? She miscarried after 5 months into the marriage by which time the husband had become impotent! Ms. Famuyiwa encouraged her to hang in there, the pull from other men she thought were better choices was stronger but she prayerfully faced the challenge with support from other men and women of God. Today, she has three children by the same man and others who had no clue of the challenge that made the couple’s bond stronger use them as prayer point, “Lord God, if only you give me X or Y, I would never consider divorce”. 

If God tested the trust of man-Jesus, if He tested the trust of blameless Abraham, what gives you the erroneous opinion you will not be tested? He did not say you will not pass through fire but that He will be there when (not if) you do. So how do you differentiate between self-will and God's will? The challenge that emanates from self will may kill, maim, dent or break your heart but that which comes out of God’s will would strengthen and build you; if your trust for God can stand the test of time.

Ephesians 1:11. In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of Him who worketh all things after the counsel of His own will. As Christians, because of the inheritance we have received most (if not all) things that come to us are in line with God’s own will! The instruction for Abraham to kill his son was in line with God’s will, the delay in conception for Hannah who was in a polygamous relationship was according to God’s will. I don’t know why Hannah entered a polygamous relationship but my Bible tells me God shut her womb! Later on God ushered the greatest prophet that ever lived into the womb of this polygamous woman. If this happened today, most women would scold Hannah and tell her that her delay is a punishment but I made it clear in "WAITING or WASTING" that the period of waiting is never meant by God as punishment. If God has decided to punish you, he need not make you wait; He'll give it to you hard and strong.

If you and I were to judge, we would say that Rachael merely took what belonged to her but perhaps God did not see it that way. Why did God shut her womb? I do not know exactly but I know that God may have delayed her conception for a divine reason. She was so upset that even when God chose to relocate her she hid the wooden gods and incurred the wrath of her father which led to her death in that tragic love story.

During a ministration I administered a questionnaire which, unknown to the participants, had 24 profiles each for females and males. Participants were told to shade or leave un-shaded the profiles of those they cannot marry or can marry respectively. The analysis of the questionnaire is below and tells you more about whether we truly wait for God’s will. The questions I asked after and the interesting discoveries about the activity are as follows:

Questions:
1. What is the average number of “opportunities” you meet in a month?
2. Who shaded the most? Why?
3. Assuming these are part of the characteristics of male/females God sends you, one after the other, in 2 years and you shaded or shielded them?
4. So if you are still unmarried in 2 years who is to blame?
5. Are there people who partly shaded a box because they were unsure of how to answer?

Responses:
1. Female participants agreed that an average of 2 “opportunities” approach them monthly. Male participants say they meet an average of 12 "opportunities" in a month
3. Least: 1(F) signifying she was open to anyone except a younger man
4. Least: 24(M) signifying he wasn’t open to any of the profiles
5. Few participants partly shaded few boxes

Discoveries:
1. Choices were self motivated; nobody prayed before choosing
2. People chose according to physical description of profiles
3. Nobody asked further questions about the profiles
4. Most participants kept looking forward to better options until the profiles ended and they realised their options were not limitless
5. Participants seem to believe that God’s will should be “perfect”. Believers may pull out of a relationship when “imperfect” characteristics appear. Usually they site not hearing well from God as reason for breaking off an initial God’s will relationship

QUESTIONNAIRE ANALYSIS

Of the 31 CHRISTIAN men that participated in the activity:
 19 would not marry a woman who is ugly
 25 would not marry a woman who is flat-chested
 20 would not marry a woman who has a child from a previous relationship
 10 would not marry a woman who is not in man's class
 8 would not marry a woman who believes she is equal to man
 15 would not marry a woman who is very tall
 21 would not marry a woman who is fat (orobo)
 21 would not marry a woman who cannot cook
 13 would not marry a woman who expects to share house chores with man
 9 would not marry a woman who is very, very rich and accomplished
 20 would not marry a woman who is crippled
 23 would not marry a woman who has fibroids
 19 would not marry a woman who may not have children due to earlier abortion
 19 would not marry a woman who makes up heavily
 21 would not marry a woman who is a staunch Muslim
 15 would not marry a woman whose mother hates him
 17 would not marry a woman whose siblings disrespect him
 15 would not marry a woman who is too spiritual; does not allow hug/peck
 26 would not marry a woman who is dirty or whose room is always untidy
 19 would not marry a woman who is a divorcee or/and older
 22 would not marry a woman who is a stark illiterate
 22 would not marry a woman who drinks beer
 10 would not marry a woman who has a lot of male friends
 15 would not marry a woman who wants sex before marriage

Of the 27 CHRISTIAN women that participated in the activity:
 17 would not marry a man who is a divorcee
 14 would not marry a man who is separated from his first wife
 12 would not marry a man who is very ugly
 7 would not marry a man who is unemployed
 11 would not marry a man who has first school leaving certificate
 20 would not marry a man who has local accent/doesn't speak good English
 19 would not marry a man who has HIV/AIDS
 11 would not marry a man who has no dress sense
 19 would not marry a man who has low self esteem
 13 would not marry a man who is very short
 20 would not marry a man who has skin condition that makes his face swell
 19 would not marry a man who is crippled
 22 would not marry a man who is blind
 17 would not marry a man who is a Muslim
 9 would not marry a man who is younger
 16 would not marry a man who is not born again
 6 would not marry a man who is not from her race (Iraqi, Indian etc)
 16 would not marry a man whose father is a herbalist
 12 would not marry a man whose mother is very wicked
 17 would not marry a man who sees women as second class citizen
 17 would not marry a man who wants sex before marriage
 5 would not marry a man who likes phone sex talk
 16 would not marry a man who likes women a lot
 23 would not marry a man who smokes

WHAO! So who is left to be married? Where is God's will in the numbers?

Adam saw and accepted Eve with only a confirmation, “This is the bone of my bone, she shall be called woman”, no query! The confirmation stood only on the premise that Eve is God's will. Today we dissect and reset God’s will and fashion out our will from it. God sent Foluke an Adejare that drinks beer, has a lot of female friends and was a boxer; an easy candidate for illegibility! She confirmed him, signed into marriage and that seemingly foolish trust in God has etched out a global master piece whose trademark has become "Let somebody shout halleluyah".

In conclusion, man, woman is the ground through which Satan initiates a lasting heartbreak ONLY BECAUSE we do not trust God enough to blindly follow God’s will.

Male or Female: Who initiates heartbreak?

The Youth & Singles Fellowship of RCCG Throne of Grace, Obalende invited me to minister on the theme: ASK ME WHY. The tilt of the theme was more about heartbreaks. Before my ministration, there was a drama and a debate.

The drama was about a sister who dilly-dallied with God’s will in reference to a brother she was in a relationship with. She broke off the relationship when a challenge faced by the brother – loss of job – reared its head. She went after another guy who was seemingly in money but later got arrested for fraud. She retraced her steps to God’s will; unfortunately he had found another rib. I decoded many issues from the drama whose narration was done by a “wise old man”.

1.   Was the relationship actually based on God’s will?

2.   Did the pastor who counseled the engaged couple seek God’s face or based his approval of the courtship on confirmation by the man and woman that it is God's will?

3.   Was the break up motivated by self or by God?

4.   If indeed the initial relationship was God’s will, why did the brother not pray and wait for a reversal of the lady’s decision to break up with him?

5.   Was it right for the brother to sign into another relationship?

6.   Can the second relationship be regarded as God’s will?

7.   Whose heart was broken by the break up in the initial relationship?

While I leave you to sincerely seek answers to these questions, let’s look at the debate that followed the drama:

Who are the initiators of heartbreaks? Is it the guys or the ladies?

For the debate, we had a vibrant sister and brother who represented their sexes and tried to argue out that, males or females are the initiators of heartbreaks. The woman’s points were clear:

1. Men are heartbreakers

2. Women are fashioned to support the heart so they cannot break the heart

3. If women are weaker vessels how then can they break the stronger vessels’ hearts?

4. The man was present in Eden yet he broke the heart of God by letting the woman act alone.

Of course the man did not mince words in making his points:

1. Women are heartbreakers

2. Women have used their being fashioned close to the heart as reason to dent the heart

3. Women in their selfishness usurped man’s role in Eden and broke God and man’s heart

4. If women could break the heart of God then they can definitely break men’s hearts

Interesting! Surprisingly, men fought their way into getting a supporting speaker but the ladies got none. But really who are the initiators of heartbreaks?

After the debate, I was invited to the podium where I started by praying and introduced myself as a media specialist, relationship coach and host of DC. I hit the ground running by asking few questions. Thereafter, I administered a questionnaire; first to the males then the females. An interesting questionnaire that generated haaaaas, hooooos, laughter and scream from the audience. I then shared the thoughts below before continuing with questions that led participants to share their experiences.

Not all heartbreak come from break up and not all break up lead to heartbreak. Heartbreak is present in one or both partners if the breakup is incidental, coincidental or accidental.

Take for instance a man and a woman who mutually consent to split because they are not willing to “faith” the issue of blood group.

Jacob may have ended up with a heart break if Rachael said no but Rachael’s life may have been saved and Jacob may have realised earlier that living a life of supplanting, a life of cheating others would not urgur well. Some heartbreak could become a life line.

Relationships are not the ultimate; what we seek is marriage. So if a relationship continues for ever and the "Will you marry me?" question never comes or the lady never responds with, "Yes, I will" the result is stagnancy. Except both parties have an understanding that this is a lifelong friendship which may not include tying the allegorical knot but tying the spiritual knot, a relationship is bound to break into pieces or break into new life.

An egg must crack, time, location, outcome may be different. An egg may break into new life birthing a chick. An egg may break and spill its content thereby ending its life abruptly with no benefit. An egg can break into a white life either as boiled of fried to give energy to the eater. But for an egg to fulfill its divine purpose, it must break!

Heartbreaks happen because we are flesh who may at times trust man more than we trust God. Jonah’s heart was unbroken despite all God did to compel him to go to Nineveh but his heart was broken when God removed his cover. A man or a woman could act out a heartbreak but God or Satan could be the initiator. How? Satan as we know is not interested in relationships especially those by Christians heading towards marriage. Satan sets out to break hearts because he knows that such unions are potential grounds for re-populating the Kingdom of God.

God on the other hand does not set out to break hearts only that our lack of understanding and our limited knowledge of the future make us see it as such. Take for instance a great Christian man who asked a great sister out, of course the sister wanted to say yes and was already looking forward to marriage but God said no. The sister’s heart was broken and so was the brother’s but in less than 2 years they saw why; the brother was called home to be with the Lord. God of course knew the brother had a limited time on earth and did not want to sign the sister into a life of misery. If they had married, most people would have believed the marriage is God’s will because they were both spirit filled ethical Christians but when the man dies soon after, more people would have blamed God for creating such sadness when in actual fact God warned against it. 

When a seeming heartbreak is motivated by God, it is short-lived; only for a while. Of course Abraham’s heart was completely broken when God asked for his only child but in obeying, he witnessed one of the greatest miracles – an exchange of pain with gain. 

Usually the heartbreaks motivated by Satan are as a result of lack of trust in God. So God sends you a helper or a friend but to you this man/woman has everything you want so you find a way to scheme yourself into a relationship; so what happens? God shows you His will but you look at him or her and what you see is an unbeliever and you re-quote God’s Word to Him, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers”; you look at the physical like Prophet Samuel did and you say NO. Three months down the line the woman marries someone else and becomes a believer and then your heart is broken. 

God sends you a man and you know from all indication that this is God’s will, you look at him and tell God, "But he is Catholic, but he is separated" and you conclude, no this CANNOT be the will of God. So you compel the man to wait in the name of praying through for an answer you have already received. The man get’s tired and pulls back the proposal and then you return to God to cry. Guess what God will do, God will lovingly embrace you as He works things out for your good hoping that this time you’d trust and obey.

A man after seeking God’s face approached a woman and the woman said, go and pray again. He returned and said, "You are God’s will for me" but she laughed and said, "You better go and pray again and stop deceiving yourself". He returned and said, "You are God’s will for me". The sister said, if you are very sure, go and tell the pastor; knowing full well that the pastor knows her health condition. The pastor had to ask the brother to go and pray again and approach the sister only if he is 100% sure. He did (some patient brother he is!) and returned to the sister. She broke down in tears and told him, “I am HIV+, if you change your mind now I would understand.” The brother took a deep sigh and said, “If God says you are my wife, I bet He knows your status”. Hard, but that is what God expects of us. Today they are happily married with children and living a blissful and fulfilled life.

Often times when we say we are waiting for God’s will, what we are actually saying is that we are waiting for a physical manifestation of our will – single-single (meaning never been married and no child), fine/handsome, comfortable, mannered, moral, tongue-talking, high self esteem, refined…. Because we cannot trust like Adam and Eve did, because we cannot blindly jump when it is God saying jump, because we cannot hang on to faith and fate, we sign up for a date then we find out too much and we become so scared of the journey ahead. To complicate matters, we run to a pastor who ends up seeing your fears instead of the will of God.

Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Why do we always forget in our instance of fear that the Lord is leading and is able to make our marital journey blissful?